Thursday, March 14, 2013


Most days I feel as if my words are lost in air. Floating around from ear to ear and not ever ending up the way they should. Or, maybe its that they are words that simply go unheard. The words that people think must be meaningless. Words that mean nothing unless you are me. Sometimes I try shouting, thinking, surely this will help... but again I fail or maybe ignored. Left dangling, with my book of paragraphs from ,my life, I would simply call the book "UNHEARD".

Somday I dream of runnning away, taking off from the madness of my mind. I hate feeling as if I am living in a sea of discontentment. Like at any moment I will drown.I do NOT want such things to effect me in such a big way. I am exhausted by the thoughts. I am exhausted by the struggle. I've spent so long just dreaming of surviving. Now that I have time to think what my true dreams possibily could be , I don't even know what they would be. Some people would say they dream of saving the world, some dream of being a mother, of being a successful lawyer, or a rockstar. There are dreams of driving nice cars, having huge houses that don't even look lived in, or taking vacations that cost more than most average people's yearly income.. what's my dream?

I just wanna be true to my smile. I just want to be happy. BUT what is my happy? Happy is seeing my children smile. Happiness is giving others the smile they deserve. Happiness is a sunny day. Happiness is feeling free.... happiness is knowing nothing is to big for my God.

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